To some people, being single at university is not a bad thing, but a bountiful blessing. Being free and unshackled by monogamy and commitment is what many sex-starved borderline adults crave and need the most! A period of exploration. Sometimes being single is not an unrequited decision or a lonely looming abyss in your stomach, but instead it can be wholesomely liberating.
Sometimes you may walk around campus and witness the overwhelming amount of holding hands, shoulder leaning and nose nuzzling. Sometimes you may be out at pre-drinks and see chair legs bending under the weight of couples stacked on top of each other, sitting around playing ring of fire. Sometimes you may even see slobbery, saliva heavy kisses on a Wednesday in Citrus. And amidst all of this, you sometimes can’t help but think why?
Why am I not in a relationship? Why am I lonely? Why am I still single?
And it is entirely normal to feel like this. It can even drive us to act bold and wild – the want to be rid of our single status. From anonymous declarations of infatuation on SurreyFess to finally mustering up the courage to ask that person out for coffee, we all at times want someone to be content with. We all want someone to cuddle with on frosty Guildford nights where the heating is unaffordable for students.
However, the non-single life is not all that it shapes up to be. At first being in a relationship may seem rosy and promising, but in stress fuelled environments like university where a partner can direct attention away from studies, there is bound to be aggravation and drama surrounding any relationship. And as freshly paired fresher couples start deteriorating after the hurdle of second semester, or long term lovers begin to dwindle, you can stand there single and free of any of the repercussions of hectic breakups and explosive heartbreaks.
So whilst being single is at times lonely, have relief in knowing that being single, you do not have to endure the suffering that comes at the end of a relationship.
And, what’s more if you are single and feel lonely, then the best way to resolve it without becoming bound up in a relationship is to cherish your friends and family more. To sit around the kitchen and cook questionable and experimental meals with your flatmates or popping home to visit loved ones who relish in any given moment they get to see you can fill you with love instead of loneliness.
Being at university is a time to experiment and try out what you like. Try being single. Try being in a relationship. Investigate what you yourself enjoy and can cope with, because the idea of being in a relationship may just be a rose tinted version of what it actually is, when it takes hard work, commitment and longevity. Being single allows you to be free and explore yourself sexually, emotionally and physically which is tremendously important for us young adults. As long you stay safe and respect others during this experimental period, then being single is not an issue whatsoever.
Text by Kai O’Halloran
Picture research by Anna Irina; featured image from Pinterest.